Posts tagged Anticipation


When fear comes up in conversations with sponsees and others, it comes in many forms – anxiety, nervousness, jealousy, anger, rage, panic.  Early in program work, people told me that there are really only two emotions, fear and love.  We can operate from a base of either.  It’s our choice.  That was good news for me, but there was one problem.  While operating from a base of love is what appealed most to me, I didn’t know how to do it.

In my family of origin, fear ruled.   In most cases, fear was the modus operandi and it was loud and angry.  Thanks to suggestions from a wise therapist I learned it didn’t have to be that way.  One day I mentioned feeling fearful about what to do now that I’d been through another layoff – it was the third of five.  She asked ” Could you transform that fear into excitement? ”  It was a surprising option, one I’d never considered before, and it was an attractive alternative to the fear. 

Applying this method to the appearance of fear has served me well and been shared with many others who have benefited, too.  When fear appears, we can do what we did as children when we came across something new.  We can transform it to excitement, anticipation, curiosity, wonderment, even delight.  How’s that for reframing.  When we were kids that’s how we usually looked at new things, or changes that were in process.  If we can remember the wonder we had for nature, or trips that we took to new places, we can apply that same sensation to most of what might cause us unnecessary fear.  Fear is often just a signal of change, or something new.  If we keep it simple, we can transform our way of looking at life and restore it to the wonder of childhood.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am looking at things in a positive way. ”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

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You Don’t Have To Like It


When anticipating doing my first 4th Step, I called my sponsor for help because of my frustration about the process.  I wasn’t liking the prospect of making this list, and it was keeping me from going forward.  At news of this she very gently said,  “Oh, you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.”

Those simple words were such a relief to me.  I’d been feeling like a bad person just because I didn’t want to do what the Step called for, and was waiting until some sense of comfort with the Step appeared before starting my list.  My sponsor’s words freed me up to do the list no matter how I felt about it. 

Just getting started on it began to change my feelings about it somewhat.  It didn’t take nearly as long as expected – imagine that?  And, the more I worked on it, the more things came to mind to add to the list – so I knew it would be thorough.  Others have told me they’ve had the same relief just knowing they can dislike Step 4, as long as they do it.  The program works in mysterious ways – and it works.

     – If you find this helpful, pass it on to others.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I love and approve of myself.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

Course In Miracles Lesson – The world I see has nothing that I want.

Practice – This will not tempt me to delay myself.  The world I see has nothing that I want.

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