When many loved ones come to Alanon, they think the only problem is the alcoholic and the drinking. We often have no idea how we may have exacerbated situations or contributed in any way to the problem. As the opening says, “we have tried to force solutions becoming irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.” Some of my service work involves speaking to families of alcoholics at a family session with a local treatment center. One day while explaining how my focus needs to be on me, rather than the alcoholic, a realization occurred.
After our loved ones go through treatment we hope and pray that they’ll get a sponsor, work the 12 Steps, go to AA meetings and stay sober. We think that will take care of the problem. I’ve seen that this is truly a family disease, which has confirmed for me that I need to do exactly those same things in Alanon. To expect my loved ones to work the program, and not be willing to do the same myself seems hypocritical.
While we may initially go to Alanon for the alcoholic, we find love, understanding, fellowship and helpful tools for living as we learn about alcohlism and how it has affected us – changed us. We can and do heal by getting a sponsor, working the 12 Steps and going to Alanon and open AA meetings, among other things. As we focus on solutions our lives improve, and we can be of service to God and our fellows. And my loved ones can confirm that I’m a happier, more serene and more sane person as a result of working the Alanon program.
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Affirmation for the Day – ” I am willing to change.”
Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.
Course In Miracles Lesson – God, being love, is also happiness. I seek but what belongs to me in truth.
Practice – God, being love, is also happiness – on the hour. I seek but what belongs to me in truth – on the half hour.