An alcoholic in my life is not really recovering. He’s white knuckling it, doing it on his own without meetings of any kind, therapy or any real support. He’s doing the same thing, expecting different results. I hope he stays dry because he isn’t acting sober, as in sane and serene. Instead, he’s isolating and has become angry, arrogant and grandiose about how “well” he’s doing. He doesn’t look so well to us.
For years those of us who love this person have expressed our concern for his well being. He’s been through treatment three times, but probably hasn’t really hit a bottom yet. I for one am staying out of the way so that he can either seek help, or eventually hit bottom. Enabling is unhelpful.
We all know that this habitual loner would thrive and flourish with the regular support of meetings, a sponsor, sober fellowship and therapy to deal with the trauma from his childhood. With a supportive group of sober friends surrounding him, to reach out to for help and guidance, this man can receive The Promises talked about in the AA Big Book. If he will just surrender and allow the love and generousity of the sober community wash over his thinking and lifestyle to soften his hardened heart – he will be transformed. Under all the anger he carries is the fear of the child in all of us that just wants to be loved and thrive. There is great power in surrender. And it’s all in God’s time, not mine.
Affirmation for the Day – ” I am staying out of the way. ”
Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.
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