Sponsorship is a mutual and reciprocal activity. In other words both the sponsor and the sponsee are responsible to and for the relationsip that develops. They are responsible to create a relationship for respect and dignity to be active and present. There is language that I hear in the recovery community that feels unhelpful in the creation and maintenance of respect and dignity.
What I’ve heard are sponsees referred to as pidgeons, sponsees mentioning hiring and firing sponsors, and a few other phrases that just don’t seem to honor the sponsor/sponsee relationship. They do seem to feed ego needs however, which I’ve learned can be dangerous for all of us. It’s a great honor to be asked to sponsor someone. It is also a great honor to be sponsored by someone. In both cases, we are graced by God through the sharing that occurs in the relationship. We both learn, we both grow, we both have more experience, strength and hope to share with others because of our relationship. The icing on the cake is the friendship that often develops.
So, I honor the gift of sponsorship and sponseeship with my language as well as my behavior. I acknowledge my sponsor and my sponsee for the gifts I receive from our relationship in the form of helpful insights, and their trust in me to share such confidential things about themselves. They are referred to as my sponsor and my sponsees. That is what they are – and it seems disrespectful to call anyone a pidgeon. Also, when it’s appropriate to move on from the sponsorship relationship we don’t fire anyone. We aren’t their boss. Instead, as a sponsor we let sponsees know that it has been an honor to walk through the process of the 12 Steps and share the recovery journey with them. We let them know that is seems to make sense for them to find someone new whom they can hear. We let them know they can call us in the future and we will keep them in our prayers. As a sponsee, when it’s time to find a new sponsor, we acknowledge and thank our sponsor for being there for us and sharing their experience, strength and hope with us. We express our gratitude for their time and effort and generousity. These are the ways we honor our sponsors and sponsees. These are the ways that we demonstrate respect and dignity with people.
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Affirmation for the Day – ” I am learning how to be.”
Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.
Course In Miracles Lesson – This day I choose to spend in perfect peace.
Practice – And so, our Father, would we cone to You in Your appointed way. We have no goal except to hear Your Voice and find the way Your sacred Word has pointed out to us.