Posts tagged Choices

Every Day I Choose

Every day I choose to have a good day or a bad day.  It’s up to me.  And that can make me resistant.  It would be so much easier to run my attitude around the way another person is acting, or something else outside of me.  Blaming is tempting.  Excuses, excuses.  But really, it’s all up to me.

Okay, so that said I’m looking around today to see the sun shining brightly – despite the minus 13 degrees outside.  My husband is working – yeah!  I get to take a meeting to a member who’s homebound from surgery, and attend a 12 Step event tonight with a woman grieving her husband’s death last month – she’s so inspiring.  I’m warm, well fed and looking forward to the day.  The cat is fat (not too) and happy, and there is much planned for this next week which will fill me up in wonderful ways.

Today is a gift, and an art project of sorts in that I can contribute to the way it touches me and others.  My husband is struggling right now – for him life is a challenge.  This is a yearly thing in that he seems to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD so I’m prepared.  I know that it’s important for my sanity, serenity and sobriety to treat him with respect and allow him the dignity to process through this opportunity for growth.   And I see all of our challenges as opportunities for growth.  He has the tools of the program to apply, the skills he learned in treatment, good food, nutritional supplements and this year he also has work to focus on – something lacking in other years due to the seasonal nature of his work.  Anyway, he has the tools – and I hope he applies them.  These two months are always his toughest.  I’m minding my own business mostly other than expressing my concern and offers of support. Taking care of myself is the best thing I could do for him anyway.  I have plenty to attend to each day; sponsee calls and Step work, school, new work, the cat, planning some new creation for dinner (my favorite new past time!) and today I started planning the garden for this year!  My days are full and blessed, because they started with me and my Higher Power in prayer and my Gratitude List.  With meetings and meditation, they shape my attitude and help me keep on track for a good day.  Even a perfect day, despite the distractions available.  I get to choose how to frame the day and that is a great gift of the program and the progress it allows.  And the added bonus is that my choices can make a positive impact in the lives of others.  That is the best part of all!

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am willing to see what’s good.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

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Choosing Solutions Again

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Each and every day we have the option to choose solutions or problems.  In other words, we can choose to be stuck in either one. I choose to be stuck in solutions.

What has helped me is to have a list of solution activities on my refridgerator that I can refer to when the brain freeze of insanity and insecurity hit.  On that list are the following:  call my sponsor or someone else for support, pray the Serenity prayer, clean, go to a meeting, read the Big Book, go for a walk, eat, journal, do another Gratitude List, meditate, say affirmations -” I am completely lovable.”  That last one always makes me smile and changes the energy in my body. What was going on in my head was only thoughts.  They aren’t real.  I don’t have to give them life by sitting in them, and taking action on them today.   The activities on my refridgerator work.  They return me to sanity and serenity, when I do them.

Page 552 of the Big Book tells us what to do if we have a resentment.  Pray for the person, place or thing against whom we have the resentment.  Ask for what we want for us to be given to them.  It doesn’t even matter if we mean it.  And, it works.  Eventually, we do mean it.  I know that from experience – it always works.  As I take actions that are focused on the solutions in all things, my feelings change.  I become softer, more flexible, happier, more relaxed.  I laugh often and people appear to be more attracted to me.  It doesn’ t matter to me how it works.  I don’t want to figure it out – I can be in acceptance.  Since I’m not a scientist, the how of it all is of little consequence.  And letting that part of it go means that I can be truly present in the moment.  Solutions focus absolutely takes less energy to do.  It may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but I get over it.  “This too shall pass,” as the 12 Step slogan goes.  And it does.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am completely lovable.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

Course In Miracles Lesson –  This is my holy instant of release.

Practice – Father, Father, it is today that I am free because my will is Yours.  I thought to make another will.  Yet nothing that I  thought apart from You exists.  And I am free because I was mistaken and did not affect my own reality at all by my illusions.  Now I give them up and lay them down before the feet of truth, to be removed forever from my mind.  This is my holy instant of release.  Father, I know my will is one with Yours.

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Choosing Solutions

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Each day I find myself presented with opportunities to choose solutions or problems.  Sometimes, my choices seem to lean toward the problem.  Fortunately, in most cases those choices can be redirected to solutions with little damage done.  But, it’s up to us to make the choice – we are accountable for that piece.

Recently, someone in the program chose not to pick up the phone when finding themselves in fear – big fear.  Instead they isolated and focused on activities which only created more fear.  They riled themselves up to the point of storm warning and spun into a tornado of attacks on a loved one who’s stuck in an addiction.  Been there, done that.  Not a solution focus.  And whenever I’ve found myself in that place it causes me regret and more pain than I started with.

So, the solutions are picking up the phone to call anyone in the program when we find ourselves in that place of spinning insanity – or going to a meeting, going for a walk, praying the Serenity Prayer, or the Third Step Prayer, cleaning, gardening, being of service to someone else.  Lately, channeling my upset feelings into decluttering and cleaning interspersed with affirmations has helped my self-esteem, sanity, serenity and the level of peace at home.  Friends have actually commented about how peaceful the house feels.  Perhaps it’s because there’s more room for my Higher Power to work – in me and in the house.

If you find this helpful, pass it on to others.  For daily updates, press the orange RSS feed to the right for directions.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am choosing solutions.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

Course In Miracles Lesson –  I am not a body, I am free.  For I am still as God created me.  Love is the way I walk in gratitude.

Practice – I am not a body, I am free.  For I am still as God created me.  I choose the joy of God instead of pain.  Love is the way I walk in gratitude.  The Holy Spirit is my only Guide.  He walks with me in love.  And I give thanks to Him for showing me the way to go.

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Self Respect and Choices

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Years ago when a  former fiancee came to see me shortly after I started working the steps, he was treating me disrespectfully.  Here’s what I did.  I told him I’d be right back, went to my room and called my sponsor.  I told her, “I know I have choices but I don’t know what they are.  I’m not asking you to tell me what to do, but please help me come up with some choices!”

She did.  I went out to the living room and told him “My serenity is the most important thing to me, and if you don’t want to treat me with respect you need to leave.”  He said, “Okay then, I’ll leave,” in a derogatory tone.  Then he just sat there looking at me like I was crazy.  When he didn’t make a move to leave I backed up to the door, opened it and said “Good by then.”

Inside, my mind was screaming “No, don’t go!”  But I just stood there silent.  He sat there about 10 seconds longer, grabbed his keys off the table and left.  After closing the door I burst into tears, and called my sponsor.  She asked what happened.  I told her through my sobbing and she said, “Congratulations, you did a great job!”  “It doesn’t feel very good” I told her, but that was the first time I took care of me.  It felt very uncomfortable, but over time my self respect improved by taking actions like these.  I began feeling more comfortable and I learned to Respond vs. React.  I can pause, think, and choose more appropriate, helpful actions based on the situation at hand.

      – If you find this helpful, pass it on to others. 

Afirmation of the Day – ” I am completely lovable.”

Course In Miracles Lesson – God, being love, is also happiness.

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