Posts tagged Emotions

Expressing Feelings

Recently, a family member has been letting me know what emotion they’re feeling, when they’re feeling it.  What a welcome change. 

They are dealing with some stressful situations as are so many people, due to the economic down turn.  Although at times these emotions are accompanied by some bigger expression (louder voice, hand and arm gestures, facial expressions), the communication of the feelings is so much better than the previous acting out!  They’re working on expressing in a calm way using more words and less drama.  I focus on thanking them for letting me know what’s going on with them, we talk about it if they wish, and when they get to dramatic I can ask them not to take their frustrations, etc. out on the rest of us. 

The nice thing is that once this person gives voice to their feelings, any upset seems to dissipate or at least diminish, and we move on.  They’re getting much better at sharing their feelings. The 12 Step programs, coupled with therapy for those of us who seek it out, give us all a language to use to express ourselves which most of us were never taught.  Again, my belief is that when we know better, we do better.  Expressing our feelings in a timely fashion is one way to do better.  Expressing ourselves allows us to release ourselves somewhat from the pressure that can build up when we stuff those feelings.  This new way of showing up then allows us to be in the moment, the present, so we don’t have to miss anymore of our lives.  It’s a good thing.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am sharing how I feel.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

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Feeling vs. Thinking

 

The other day it came to me that the most misused word in America seems to be “feel.”  People say “I’m feeling that something isn’t working,” or “I feel that they don’t understand me,” or”I feel they should be doing it differently.”  What they’re talking about is NOT what they’re feeling –  it’s what they think or believe

What they feel are emotions and the word “that” doesn’t follow the words “I feel.”  What does follow the words “I feel” are as follows – angry, happy, sad, encouraged, excited, embarassed, confused, joyful, ashamed, vulnerable, safe, calm, anxious, uncomfortable, content, scared, agitated, hurt, peaceful to name a few.  These are emotions/feelings.  My body actually can actually feel these – my heart races, or relaxes, my blood pressure goes up or down accordingly, my face might flush, perhaps I talk louder or softer, or my stomach gets upset, or I smile or laugh.  Feelings usually elicit physical responses from our bodies, and they seem to be based often times on what we think about something – anything.  Our old patterned ways of interpreting situations are often the culprit for the uncomfortable feelings we experience.  Sometimes we discover that our thoughts are mistaken beliefs, therefore, the feelings that go alone with them are mistaken and unnecessary as well.

It’s seems important to note the connection between what we think and what we feel.  Examining the accuracy of our thoughts helps us have emotions that are appropriate for the situation.  “Pause when agitated,” is suggested by the 12 Step programs.  When we pause to think, breathe and let ourselves experience emotions/feelings, we learn about the nuance of each type and we gain more appreciation for the pleasant feelings – because we allow ourselves to feel the less pleasant emotions also.  What’s important for me to avoid is stuffing my feelings about situations.  I can express them appropriately, respectfully and in a timely manner by using I statements – “I feel frustrated, sad, hurt,”  And, “I feel happy, excited, satisfied.”  I’ve learned that it’s safe for us to experience the entire range of emotions, because we’re not alone.  We can count on other program members to walk through it with us.  We are in good company.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am learning to feel safely.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

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Emotions / Feelings

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I’ve learned there are really only two emotions or feelings – Love and Fear.

     Love = Happiness, Joy, Anticipation, Excitement, Contentment, Patience.

     Fear = Anger, Frustration, Impatience, Hurt, Jealousy, Rage, Sadness.

While going to most of the fear emotions initially makes me feel bigger and energized, they actually separate me from others and the energized aspect of the feeling actually leaves me feeling lonely when it diminishes – and it always diminishes.  Fear inspires me to attempt to control things to go my way, to keep something I have or get something I want.  I’ve heard that disease ,”Dis-Ease” comes from the fear emotions, which wreak havoc on the physical body.  My body feels drained if I stay in these emotions.

When I choose loving emotions, I feel more whole and a part of the world.  I feel healthy, and peaceful and my day goes easier.  Everything works out and I don’t need to do anything for life to run smoothly – instead of controlling, I get to allow things to happen and just turn it all over.  Easier said than done at times, so I rely on the tools of the program to help me with this – gratitude list, calling my sponsor, getting into action, doing service work and working the steps.  It’s so simple.  We only need to do it.

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Affirmation for the Day – ” I am happy!”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

Course in Miracles Lesson – Let me be still and listen to the truth.

Practice – Let me be still and listen to the truth.  What does it mean to give and to receive?

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