Feeling Grief

A woman who’s working through the process of grief and loss, remarked that she wishes the sadness and pain were over. 

What we know about grief and loss is that, particularly when it involves events highest on the stress scale, the process takes time.  This woman is dealing with the loss of a marriage, her current home, and even more importantly – an old way of being.  She has increased her meeting attendance to at least 5 meetings a week, is seeing a therapist, and is calling her sponsor more often.  Yet, she’s still experiencing unfamiliar pain and sadness.

That’s how grief works.  When we start working the Steps and practicing the principles of the Programs we start to feel again.  And as nice as that can be regarding the pleasant feelings, it can be very uncomfortable and demoralizing when we feel the pain too.  What it’s taught me is that experiencing the sadness, pain and sorrow is what helps us truly enjoy and appreciate the happiness, excitement and peace.  And grieving is a process.  As much as we might wish it to be an event, in the case of divorce some professionals say to give it a good 2 years to work through the whole of it and start finding a new place for ourselves in life.  Sometimes, it takes longer.  It requires patience.  One thing I’m sure of, if we don’t push through it when it happens, it will re-surface down the road – most likely at inconvenient moments.  And we are not alone as we work through it.  We have the fellowship of the Programs, and our Higher Power.  We are always in good company, and “This too shall pass.”

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am working through the process.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

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