Our Business

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A few years ago when I was in between sponsors and not going to the usual number of meetings I fell back into some old patterns that were fear based.  Even after more than a decade in the programs I allowed the fear to take over and attempt to control other people and situations.

What was most disturbing was that my focus started to be on things that were none of my business.  If someone had a difficulty they wanted help with, I was right there fixing away.  Instead of allowing them the opportunity to learn from the situation, and develop more confidence by relying on God to direct them, I needlessly jumped in at times to make sure things got done my way so I would feel safer.  The thing is, I didn’t know what was best.  And by the time my behavior changed and I stepped back from these situations to allow others the dignity of being responsible for themselves, my interference had some negative impact.  What’s worse, I’d set myself up to be blamed if things didn’t go as well as hoped.

My sponsees and I now have the benefit of learning from my mistakes.  While I did make amends for my part in those situations, it was a hard lesson in humility.  My disappointment in myself was profound – but my sponsor encouraged me not to beat myself up about the mistakes, and instead to make the amends, change my behavior and mind my business only, letting God take over.  Thanks to her coaching and the meetings where people shared their setbacks as well, I could reverse course and focus on taking care of me.  It makes me happier and more comfortable to be around.  And it takes so much less energy to just take care of me – much more relaxing.  Recently, I was able to remember my sponsors words with a sponsee as I reminded her that a situation was none of her business.  She got it, stepped back and has enjoyed a crisis free month, free of drama and focused on her life.  If it works, pass it on.

If you find this helpful, pass it on to others.  For daily updates, press the orange RSS feed right for directions.

Affirmation for the Day – ” I am taking care of me.”

Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.

Course In Miracles Lesson – In my defenselessness my safety lies.

Practice – In my defenselessness my safety lies. – On the hour.

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