We were experts at reasons. No matter what 12 Step programs we are in now, we’d previously learned to create one excuse or reason, after another for the unreasonable and unhelpful behaviors that we’d developed – our survival techniques.
There’s only one way I know to make progress in the programs – work the 12 Steps, in order, with our sponsor, willingly. The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Alanon “Paths To Recovery” say the same. It’s not necessary to like it. Why would we? People don’t grow up aspiring to be in 12 Step programs. When my first sponsor told me I didn’t have to like it – “You just have to do it,” I was so relieved. This was not an unpleasant conversation. My sponsor was very kind and loving when she told me this information. She was clearing up my confusion because in my naivety, I really thought I was supposed to be liking working the Steps and I felt like a bad person because I didn’t. It just didn’t feel good in the beginning. I was scared and this is what I came up with to keep from doing what works?
Thank God for my sponsor. She helped me get past myself, and move forward. I’m continuing to pray for a person who has many excuses about why they “can’t” go forward with the 4th Step. The reality is that they “won’t” finish the 4th Step, yet. They are still clutching to denial and control tightly, desperately. Why? Experience has shown me that it’s always about fear. They are so scared, in sooooo much pain, soooooooo angry. And while they don’t realize it shows, others see the anger, fear and pain while that person is busy trying to look good, be helpful and stay in control. The Steps tell us to give it up. Let Go and Let God. It’s so much easier, takes much less energy and the miracles that come to us from letting go are better than we could ever imagine. We are only asked to do something different, take a risk – with others – for our lives to transform. It’s a God thing.
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Affirmation for the Day – ” I am willing to change. I am willing to do new things. I can do it.”
Remember to say the affirmation at least 3 times whenever you remember it, preferably in front of a mirror.
Course In Miracles Lesson – I will be still a moment and go home.
Practice – I will be still a moment and go home.
